I’m perhaps the last of my friends to actually settle down and I can’t tell you how many times I hear “I just don’t feel appreciated sometimes!” from all of them at least once. Now I know we’re new at this but we seem to have a pretty good system in place to work around this. The beauty of it is, it’s painfully simple!
Just write them a love letter.
My husband and I both lead rather busy lives. We both work multiple jobs and are even trying to get a small business off the ground in between family time, having social lives, managing finances and maintaining web sites. Even though we don’t have kids yet, it gets hectic! Sometimes we forget to actually say to each other that we appreciate what the other does. So randomly one day, my husband inadvertently formed a solution to this by writing a small love note and putting it in my lunch bag. Problem solved!
Love letters are a wonderful way to tell your spouse that you love and appreciate them. This doesn’t have to be a gigantic chore, mind you. We have it perfected into 3 simple steps: Pick a random time, write a brief message, pick a good hiding spot. It’s that simple.
Perhaps the most important part of this, I feel, is the timing. It is everything and there’s a simple yet important rule to picking the perfect time. Make it random. Don’t do it on Valentine’s Day (although it’s nice to get a card or a loving text from your spouse on Love Day) or any holiday for that matter. Pick the most random of days, like July 26th. Perhaps your spouse has had a rough day or you simply found yourself thinking about them in the middle of the day while at work. Perfect timing! The best times, we’ve found, are the most random times. Now that you have the time, put your plans for romance into action!
The message comes next. Some people feel that a love letter needs to be some long drawn out poem or small novel stating exactly how you feel every time you look deep into their eyes. Don’t over complicate it. Just make it simple. Write down the first thought that came to you when you got that warm fuzzy feeling after thinking about your spouse. The last one I wrote to my husband looked like this:
It wasn’t some 3 page poem written on special paper with a certain type of ink and sealed with a print of my lips with ridiculously dark lipstick on the envelope (granted we may use this tactic in a later post). It was a thought of how I felt at that moment that I jotted down on a sticky note and hid for him to find. (But more on that in a sec!) To make it a little more adorable, I signed it with a nick name that he gave me while we were dating.
A couple of weeks later he brought me lunch at work and at the end of the day I found this:
Once again, nothing fancy. Just a sweet message scrolled on a scrap sheet of paper and hidden in a place for me to find. Note that he adds a little intimacy into it. You can do that as well but we’ll touch more on that in a separate post.
Now that you’ve picked your time and written your message, let’s hide it! There are a never ending number of things you can do to hide it for your spouse to find. Just don’t make it a treasure hunt. The idea is for them to find it unexpectedly and get that “Awwww!” feeling once they read it. To use our examples, I managed to sneak my note on his pillow and covered it with the blanket so he would find it before he got into bed.
He folded his and put it under my windshield wiper so I would see it before I left work for the day. You can put it in your spouses lunch if you make them lunch in the morning. Stick it in a jacket pocket so they will find it when they reach in for something. When my husband and I were dating, I would come to visit him and have to leave before he got home from work. I would make his bed before I left and leave a note propped up on his pillow so he would see it when he got home.
If your spouse is going away for a while leave it in their suitcase so they will see it when they open it up (feel free to write that 3 page poem if the urge strikes you on this one!). Pick a place you know they’ll go and rig it in a way that is easy to find. There are infinite possibilities so be creative and have fun with it!
Now I know what you’re thinking, “Why not just text them? It’s a lot easier and they’ll get it right away,”. Well here’s the thing, how many people does an average person text every day? Sure we’ll text each other sweet messages all the time, but doing it the old fashioned way adds a certain charm that you can’t get through a text message. You took the time to think of them. You wrote it out on paper. Then you made a “game” out of them finding it. Writing the note is more personal and honestly more romantic. Take technology out of it and go a little old fashioned a few times and I’m sure you’ll understand what I mean when I say “It’s fun!”.
We’ve found that a quick love note can brighten our day significantly whether we’re with each other at the moment or not. You can say so much with just a few words and it will keep a bit of romance and intrigue in the relationship while letting them know that you randomly think of them during the day.
Try it out with your spouse and let us know how it works for you!